(align:"=><=")+(box:"X")[(b4r:"solid")+(b4r-colour:purple)[MOON MINER 2085]]
Your job should you choose to accept, it is to mine the moon. There's tons and tons of moon rocks just waiting for a hotshot moon miner like yourself to come and exploit it. We call that white gold where I'm from, pardner. I'm from the moon.
Are you ready?
[[GIMME THAT DYNAMITE]]
[[NO I HATE MONEY]]How much dynamite do you want to use
[[1000000 TONS]]You quit your job at the mining company and get a job back on earth (either:"as a librarian", "as a disc jockey", "as an alpaca farmer", "herding cats", "washing bottles", "as a horse thief", "as a janitor", "as a robber baron", "in a fudge factory", "washing windows", "programming computers", "eating worms for the internet", "as a rabble-rouser"). It's not an easy life, but you know you made the right decision when the CEO of Moon Miners is indicted for (either:"blowing up the moon", "counterfeiting moon rocks", "eating his employees", "tax evasion", "crooked dealings", "mining the moon without a license", "setting up an illegal tax shelter on the moon").
Nice firecracker, dingus
[[LET ME TRY AGAIN|BEGIN]]''(text-colour:red)[*BOOM*!]''
You just got (random:100,10000) tons of moon rocks!
At current market rates, that's worth about...
[[DANG]](text-style:"expand","buoy")[''(text-colour:red)[YOU BLOWED UP THE MOON]'']
[[HELL YEAH]]You lose!
[[LET ME TRY AGAIN|BEGIN]]HELL YEAH
[[I WANNA DO THAT AGAIN|BEGIN]]